Posts tagged struggle
3 Months On Testosterone - Video Update
3 Months On Testosterone - Video Update

Original record date: May 20th, 2017. This video is part of my transition update series and it marks 3 months on hormone replacement therapy. This update includes mental health updates and physical changes.

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Endowed, VlogRiver Eastwoodtransition, update, video, vlog, FTM, ftm, ftm fitness, Anxiety, blog, bulking, bodybuilding, coming out, confidence, dysphoria, Depression, doubt, dedication, comparison, expression, emotional health, endowed, experience, wellness, fit, facial hair, fat loss, female to male, fitness, lifting, lift, grow, gains, gender, gender transition, gratitude, hrt, health, honesty, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, identity, journal, journey, Journey, workout, bulk, learn, lgbtq, LGBT, love, mass, man, motivation, male, milestone, nonbinary, queer, rest, selfmade, soul, testosterone, t shot, train, Training, document, self care, Self Work, stress, struggle, strength, storyComment
12 Week Bulk to Gain Lean Mass Program - FTM Fitness
12 Week Bulk to Gain Lean Mass Program - FTM Fitness

This bulk program is going to be challenging for me because I have a hard time with being "fluffy". Anytime my body fat goes up, especially around my waist, my dysphoria kicks up. I struggle with this and it is a hurdle to overcome. I know I want to gain size, strength, and muscle mass but getting there requires a bit of puffiness and less of a lean/tight look. This will be my battle... allowing myself to gain weight and finding the mental peace with it.

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Grow, TrainingRiver Eastwoodbulk, Body Building, bodybuilding, breakfast, blog, consistency, cooking, diet, dysphoria, exercise, experience, FTM, food, fitness, ftm fitness, female to male, lift, lifting, Self Work, self development, gym, grow, gender transition, gender, gains, lgbtq, LGBT, vegan, vegetarian, program, progress, weight lifting, how to, hrt, hormone replacement therapy, hormones, intermittent fasting, selfmade, superfood, struggle, train, tracking, Training, tool, testosterone, trans, transman, transgender, transition, strength, learn, plant based, nutrition, protein, practice, Trans, introduction, pea protein, ftm, masculine, workout, wellness, whole food, health, healthy eating, change, build, journey, meal plan, motivation, mass, muscle, macros Comment
Tarot as a Self Care Tool
Tarot as a Self Care Tool

The beauty of the Tarot lies in the relationship that one develops with it over time. There will be readings that are just ok, some will be surprising, and some will be deeply moving. There are times that I have felt an energy connecting with me that was clear and strong.

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EmbraceRiver Eastwoodtarot, spirituality, self care, Self Work, self development, tool, resources, tarot cards, reading, tarot reading, how to, learn, milestone, moments, crystals, healing, mental health, experience, journal, journey, wellness, Depression, struggle, Personal Story, emotional health, Embrace, cards, doubt, honesty, health, grow, fear, gratitude, awakening, awareness, practice, relax, Anxiety, change, gender, gender transition, expression, identityComment
Drinking After Sobriety
Drinking After Sobriety

After ruminating on the decision I knew that I didn't want to drink to alter my state, escape, numb out, or run. I wanted to be able to drink occasionally, end of story. It was the lack of excitement about it that was promising to me. I wasn't itching for a swig. I knew that if I tried it again and it didn't go well, that I could always go back to sobriety. That method would always be there for me as a tool. 

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EmbraceRiver Eastwoodsobriety, Anxiety, Depression, trans, drinking, alcohol, recovery, journey, story, struggle, strength, change, Self Work, self care, awakening, discovery, mental health, honesty, Personal Story, journal, experienceComment